Saturday, January 16, 2010

Life Goes On

Tonight I've sorted through photos of my honey, and so I can update Art You Wear and Me. Actually this time I'm going to mostly update the Me part. It's been the hardest time of my life. John was lucid and talking on Christmas Day so I got to hear about his love once again and he about mine. By next day the doctors were saying they couldn't do more for him, but I kept hoping. By New Years we knew his body was not healing and couldn't sustain itself. He died on January 5, 2010. He didn't like to be photographed, he didn't think he added anything of value to the world--I heard it all a million times. He was proof of how alcohol destroys the body and the brain. So here is the last photograph. Interesting that it was also the last time my Dad dressed up in his suit, and the last time mom and dad and John and I were together and in celebration. Dad died a little over a year ago and John wasn't all that far behind.

I am bereft, but also hanging in there. I know I have to take care of myself because the previous weeks had been gruelling. I did a lot of driving back and forth to the hospital, three hours round trip often in thick fog. And just the loss is enough to do you in. My family were not available to give me physical support so I had to be strong. Fortunately the cats and birds kept me grounded.

I photographed the cats for John so he could see how they were looking. He blew them kisses. The first one is his cat Muffin.

The second one is my old feral tomcat, Chessie.

I assume you all recognize kitten Lolalee Lucy-fur. She's five months old now.

That same day I heard noises outside in the back yard. Two bucks were jousting.

But the minute they saw me it was "Oh look, mom is here! She might have apples!" I did.

I had to go to the mortuary on my birthday. I didn't mind, it was one more thing to do for him. But then I decided I needed to do something for myself as well. We were married 40 years and in that time I couldn't have a dog. I grew up having chihuahuas. I drove up to the animal shelter and found me a sweet, timid, abused chihuahua. La Paloma is a delight. She wants to please so we've worked out the potty thing. The most amazing part is that this little creature wants to be in charge and has tamed Lolalee overnight. I can't believe it--she actually behaves or else La Paloma goes after her and nips. It's exactly what Lolalee needed to settle her down. She's training me too, starts begging me to go to bed at 8 pm. No matter what I do, I now have an entourage, one cat and one dog. Along with caring for the birds, I'm constantly busy.

What I'm hoping is that soon I'll be able to settle into a routine where I can sew for chunks of the day. Maybe after I settle all the paperwork. My life has changed drastically and yet with the animals I'm still on the same schedule. I'm looking forward to writing about wearable art again. I stopped at Joanns on Monday and picked up a dark purple batik to make a jacket. It reflects how bleak I felt. My mom was adamant about wearing black after dad died. I have a lot of black clothes but don't want to climb into depression, so I went for the dark purples. But that was Monday. Yesterday I came across the black sweatshirt I had cut up the front so he could wear something warm in the ambulance. Now it needs to become a jacket for me. As you see, it didn't take long for me to travel beyond darks. These are just dollar fabrics from Walmart but should do for appliques.

Before all this started with John, I was shopping on eBay. I don't remember how I found them. I've been bidding on kimono pieces from Quest Japan ever since. The fabric is beautifully ironed but does smell musty. Their wonderful photos are exactly what you get.

I'm hoping to mix these pieces with smaller pieces of silk kimono bought over the years, and turn them into a Kimono-style jacket. Book reviews coming up soon! cheers, Rosalie